I asked mum for some money a couple of days ago and I just realised that she'd given way too much, as usual. It's nice that my parents want to support me financially, but sometimes they get to my nerves because I feel like such a charity case. It's a very unpleasant feeling, swallowing your pride, I mean. I know it's not wise to live like an ascetic, either. I mean, I haven't had money to eat properly but that's my problem, I don't want to whine and beg for the money. Maybe it's because I know I really don't have to beg for it, I know my mum would be perfectly happy to pay my rent (she's offered to pay it, but HELL NO!), so, she'd give me the moon if I'd ask for it. But, however, I'm not a spoiled brat who'd probably take advantage of the situation. I've always been very mean with money, perhaps too mean as the fact that I don't like buying food because it costs too much shows.
...Parents are a whole different species, and that's a fact.

Well. I'm off to Helsinki/Espoo in half an hour. I was there last weekend, too, and am going on this weekend again because A) I can now afford it and B) it suits better than Heikki coming to Tampere. We've both got some studying to do and as Heikki's involves using a computer and I don't have one yet at home, it's a lot more sensible that I go there and fill my head with grammar while he does whatever (boring)stuff he has to do with the computer. I'm not particularly looking forward to the "filling my head with grammar" part, I think I'll find watching telly more inspiring.

(What fun! The Spell Checker wants to replace Heikki with "hickey"!)  ¶ 4:45 PM

  Blast. I would've wanted to send my friend an e-card, but this stupid machine won't let me. I tried to send this cool one to Heikki last week, but it didn't work then, either. Stupid thing... grrmm. Oh, well. Perhaps it's better this way as those e-cards can be quite annoying, especially when you open it and, without any warning, some irritating tune starts playing while you're in the library/computer lab/any public place. Or, if you don't have speakers, you get a card that you believe to be perfectly innocent but it turns out to be a picture of a guy shaking his behind with your name attached to it.
So, e-cards are nice, but only to a certain extent. This card that I tried to send to my friend is fromBluemountain, which I visit every now and then (provided that I'm very bored).

Happy news regarding my studies: finished the grammar essay! This is truly a happy day, only 6 exams and one essay deadline left before Christmas holiday. It's easy living from now on, I tell you. Only two of those exams are worth worrying about, but I decided to worry about all of them because it really doesn't make any difference, the amount of stress is the same anyway. I'm SO afraid of the grammar test, not the skills test, but the theory test. It really scares me as I've always managed perfectly well without any knowledge of the theoretical side of this language (perhaps a little exaggeration here).
Another happy piece of news is that my translation teacher finally gave me the grade 3(which is the maximum) on my text, although I had the worst feeling about it after I'd sent it to him. Translation is great fun, I think. It's a shame we don't have any next term, it's the only class I've never skipped!

Oh, I bought that television a week and a half ago! It hasn't really changed my daily routines, I still do homework 90 per cent of my free time. But it's nice that I'm able to watch films whenever there's a good one on (hardly ever, it seems) and don't have to stare at the wall when bored. The only films I've watched so far are X-Men and Cast Away, neither of which looked very good on my (too)small screen. I don't mind, though.

Got to start writing a response sheet now, otherwise I'll never get home. I really need food, haven't eaten anything save two loaves of bread.  ¶ 5:50 PM

  Is he cool or what? I'm suffering of post-CATS madness, surfing the net for pictures and other related material, just so I wouldn't lose this overexcited and overwhelmed feeling. I obviously had been looking forward to the show because I really had to make an effort not to cry all the time. I felt this big lump in my throat from the very first note and my eyes kept watering and I had to swallow a great many times before my heart settled and I could watch the stage again. The strangest feeling ever! It's not very much like me to get so emotional before anything has happened, I do cry a lot but usually when there's a reason for it (e.g.somebody dying in a film).

Oh, well. CATS was great on film, but nothing beats the feeling you get in live performances. Although, I have to admit, Rum Tum Tugger was better on the filmed version than on the one I've just seen. Can't say much about the others, Rum Tum is, in my opinion, the most charismatic character and therefore can easily be taken over the top, as I think this one did...What's his name? Um...it's on the programme somewhere, ah, Paul Warwick Griffin. He was good, but not that good. Interestingly enough, he seems to have performed the part of Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I'm not the slightest bit surprised, though, as the characters do have something in common. The sex-appeal, I guess.
I remember me and Jade watching CATS on video in Lahti and, having just watched TRHPS too, found it extremely difficult not to compare the two characters (and to drool over them, if you will excuse the expression).

Let's face it, I can't talk about anything else right now, the experience is too fresh.
I think I'll just go to sleep and dream of cats.  ¶ 9:50 PM

  Television obsession getting worse. Need a television. Whatched 80's Show and half of Six Feet Under on Heikki's portable TV (yes, it's true, he has one).
Skipping all lessons today. Feeling bad.
Bad Hair Week.

That sums up my day/week/life.  ¶ 4:07 PM

  I'm planning on buying a television. Oh NOooo! But I must succumb to the overwhelming desire to watch stupid gameshows, reality-tv and, most of all, days of our lives, otherwise I'll burst. Yesterday was plain torture, as I had nothing to do, not even homework. I just listened to the radio alot and found some new stations I never knew existed in this part of the country. I always thought Groove FM and Radio City were audible only for those living in Helsinki.
But anyway, about this TV in question, I'm not sure I'll get it, because a friend of mine is probably selling it but doesn't yet know how much she'll ask for it. Hopefully not too much, I'm not that desperate. I really wish she'd decide already, I'm anxcious to waste my life glued to the box.

Another nice thing to note: Heikki's coming today! I've been so miserably lonely for the past week and now it's all goig to be OK again, for a while anyway. I'll admid it: I'm just a lovesick kook.

Got to rush now, literature lecture just starting!  ¶ 1:58 PM

  I don't have any lectures or classes today but decided to come to school anyway. I've been sitting here in the computer lab for at least three and a half hours now, trying to write an essay on the pronouns he,she and it, and it's driving me crazy! The essay's due date is 26th so I'm in no hurry, but I can't get past this attitude that writing a grammar essay is horrible, although it doesn't really differ from any other essay. I guess reading the material once more might work wonders but, oh, how ever so boring it is! I've got the general idea and some sort of an order for the things I'm going to deal with, but it's the actual process of writing that puts me down every time.
I'm so bored. And actually planned to continue this tomorrow, which is Saturday, for god's sake!

Yup. I think I'll call it a day. One page was a realistic target and I've got one and a half, that'll do for now.

Off to get some dinner!  ¶ 3:35 PM

  Oh, it's a drag when you've decided to work extra hard on something and then end up skipping lessons and sleeping through lesson and, what more? Well, forgetting you even have a lesson would be a good one but I haven't gone that far yet. At the moment I'm at stage one, which is the one where you skip the lessons and feel very, very bad about it for the rest of the day.
So, I skipped Italian today because (this is the best explanation I could come up with) I've skipped that lesson only twice before. And I do feel bad because Italian is one of my favourite subjects here, not just because the teacher is charming and handsome (middle-aged, but well preserved, like Sean Connery), but because I would really like to learn it thoroughly. It's funny, though, that Italian is the subject I feel most like skipping, perhaps because I never prepare for those lessons and therefore dread the teacher might ask me to give the present forms of, for example, the word "capire", which means "understand" (my answer would propably be "non capisco!"). Fortunately Mr Fornaciari is easy-going and never loses his temper with the ones who are thick-headed or just plain lazy (which am I?)

It strikes me odd how difficult it is to learn a whole new language. Learning English and even Swedish seemed so easy, or perhaps more correctly, it seemed to happen without even noticing it. I know it has something to do with the age in which one begins to study the particular language, that childred of a certain age are more apt for it, but still, I didn't expect it to be this hard. Maybe it's the style of teaching or something, I don't know (or the style of studying).
I'm taking Latin next term and I'm terrified of it already. Some of my friends are on that course now and they're complaining about it all the time. I don't know how I'll manage to do both Latin and Italian at the same time, though they're not that similar. But even so, the idea of having two completely new languages scares me as I feel like I've lost whatever knowledge I used to have of English. The downside of studying a language, at least form me, is the feeling that the more you study the less you actually know about the subject. How very encouraging. :D

Katja just phoned me and said she's coming to Tampere today. That's nice! I didn't feel like going home yet anyway, because what else could I possibly do at home but homework (and possibly sleep)? Noora and me talked about this yesterday and came to the conclusion, or at least Noora did, that doing homework before, during and after school is way too much and is sure to result in some kind of mental breakdown. I'm not stressing out as much as she is, about homework, that is, but I do feel a bit confused about which subject to take as a minor and so on. I'm looking at the bigger picture and it really causes me stress. I'm not saying that I like the excessive amount of homework we get every week, on the contrary, I seem to have completely lost my social life because of it. I never go out anymore, even more seldom that I used to (and that was once a month or less). Of course when Heikki's here I have some kind of a life, but yeah, I'm always at home studying.
Please be so kind as to SAVE ME!  ¶ 4:56 PM